Clara ~ Feb. 2010

Hello my dear family!

First, I would like to make just one request. My request is simply that if it will not terrible inconvenience everyone else that we make the blog private for just our family. For those who want to post and those who just want to read and keep updated. A lot of my stories, happenings in life, and spiritual growth revolve around K.C.'s job, stories which I'd love to share, but if it's open for just anyone to read it could possibly "jeopardize" our safety, and it'd be so much easier and comprehensible if I could use certain terms. I can manage if making it so causes difficulty or great inconvenience for everyone else.

It's been one amazingly fun month for the Asvitt household. K.C. has had the entire month off of work for vacation and has 1 1/2 wks left off. We bought plane tickets to fly back east this month. K.C.s dad and my daddy knew we were coming, but our moms did not. It was such a wonderful moment when we saw the surprise on their faces. We stayed about a week with each family. The girls got to meet and spend some time with their grandparents and now all I hear about now is Mama Pa, Auntie Rat, Gungle Ris, Mame, Papa, Auntie Re Re, and Gungle rice. Zelda is constantly talking about all the "new" family she has met and when we say prayers before she goes to bed she says "I la lu. __" to everyone she now knows.

Zelda is talking a little better every day now. She is so very smart. She's already problem solving (not actual math yet, but you know). Greta speaks almost as well as Zelda and is a meany. Greta is deff. the bully out of those two. She is also very smart and causing just as much trouble(for me lol) with her problem solving as Zelda is.

K.C. and I have joined a gym and I am also taking yoga. I'm really loveing it. Sometimes it's hard to get out the door, but so worth it. I've already lost about 5 lbs only 15-20 more to go till I've reached what my doc. says is my healthiest weight. As for me I am doing quite good. I didn't know going on vacation with toddlers, would be harder than staying home with them. I now realize my vacation would have been more relaxing if we had stayed home, but we would have missed out on lots of fun and memories.

The last bit news. K.C. and I are trying for baby # 3. We thought we had gotten pregnant on last months birth control, and I was like we better not be because I don't want another baby just yet, and when "the seahorse" (as the brat calls it) came I totally broke down and was devastated that I wasn't. That, and many dreams of being pregnant, and much thought fasting and prayer, and what we discern as promptings, K.C. and feel like it's time. So...we'll keep you updated.

My spiritual thought isn't directly from the scriptures (but could be if I looked for references), or a church lesson, but something I have finally learned. Forgiveness and repentance. Most of you know that when K.C. and I got engaged my SIL said some terrible things to her family about me, and tried to break K.C. and I up. However, at my bridal shower she apologized, and even at the reception (for those you there you might remember). I have been carrying a big huge weight of anger on my shoulders for the past 4 yrs now (he proposed of Val. Day). I thought that with her apology I had forgiven her, I told her yes I did forgive her, but every time I thought of my engagement I could feel the anger brewing and the resentment. This last month after having spent some quality time with her, we were able to set those issues aside. Finally, after 4 years my shoulders do not feel heavy. When I think of my engagement I don't feel anger or resentment just a bit of sadness.

Growing up I always thought forgiveness was as simple as saying, "I forgive you," but that is not always the case. I now know that sometimes it takes a lot of work. I have spent the last 4 years praying that Heavenly Father would help me to soften my heart, so that I could accept her words and acts of remorse and apology and finally forgive her. It took a lot of work, meditation, prayer, study, and Heavenly Fathers hand to soften my heart and make my trip east at this time possible, so that I might forgive her. I have learned how closely repentance and forgiveness are tied together.

I'm sure for all of you this is an elementary thought and lesson, but I have finally learned it, and for now at least, until my next big test in repentance and forgiveness, my burden feels light.

I know my Savior lives and loves us. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and teaching me something tonight.


XOXOXO ~ Clara Marie